Somebody Get Me A Flower, Quick!

I have no patience.  Well, I do, but UGH!!!!  I hate waiting.  I hate not knowing.

  There have been some dates that I haven't blogged about, because well... there really wasn't anything good to share. Then there have been some good dates, but I decided to keep them private to see if anything developed first. 

And then there was my most recent date.  I told him about my blog.  (No, he hasn't read it, don't worry.)  He asked me not to blog about him.  And so, I will respect that.  Wait... I kinda just did.  Oops. 

All I will say about him, was that he was different from anyone I ever dated, and yet, I was totally relaxed and comfortable with him.   It was totally a  spur of the moment  and impromptu date and it was so fun!   I felt a surge of electricity rush through my body when he touched my arm.  I felt it again when he placed his hand on me to keep me from walking out into traffic.  And  I felt it again when he said "You smell good."   (Why did he walk away so fast after he said that??????)

So now, I wait for him to make contact again... because I don't want to seem pushy and aggressive. 
But what if he is thinking the same thing? 
What if we are BOTH waiting for the other person to make the next move?  UGH!
Or... what if he's just not interested?

Seriously banging my head against the wall!

Tomorrow.  I will make contact tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that.
 Until then, you will know if I've been around if you see flower petals everywhere.

He likes me.
He likes me not.
He likes me.
He likes me not.

This Made My Day, Maybe Even My Year!

Despite what I said in my last post, it does occasionally cross my mind if I should continue to meet people from this site that I have been on.  I have pondered stopping... but I always go back to the fact that I will not meet anyone new by sitting on my butt waiting for Mr. Wonderful to come knock on my door.
Yesterday morning I took my daughters for a hike in the nearby mountains.  When we came home, we were all hot and tired.  I laid down on my couch and grabbed the most recent issue  of the Ensign.  For my non LDS readers, that is a magazine that is put out by the LDS church on a monthly basis that basically shares uplifting messages and words from our prophet.  I started flipping through it, backwards, (I tend to read magazines starting from the back and working my way to the front, weird, I know.)  I read the headings of several articles and nothing jumped out at me as something that I wanted to read at that time.  Maybe I should start from the front, for once.  I opened up to the first article in the magazine and read the title. 

Sharing the Gospel Heart To Heart  It spoke to me.  It was by President Henry B. Eyring, the First Counselor in the First Presidency.

The first line read:
"God will put prepared people in the way of His prepared servants who want to share the gospel."

Right then, my eyes filled with tears and my heart began to burn.  I knew I was meant to read this article.

Another line read "The preparation we need is in our mind and our heart."

I feel that my mind and heart are prepared.  I know what I want, I know what I believe.  I have a firm testimony of my beliefs, which have been tried and tested.  I may not understand everything about the gospel, but no one will ever be able to take away the answers and the blessings that I have received from our Heavenly Father.  That is where my faith comes from.  First hand experience.

So, I believe that answers my question.  And so, for now, I will continue to meet men not of my faith.  I may not meet the man I am going to marry, (or maybe I will) but one thing is for sure... no man I meet is going to say that they didn't know what I stood for and believed in.

Meeting men, not of my faith isn't easy.  Very often, as soon as they find out that I will never be having sex with them,  they make it clear that they no longer want to get to know me.  I try to pretend that doesn't hurt, but it can.  I always let them know there is no hard feelings and wish them luck in finding somebody to spend their life with.   What I don't say, is that I am looking for someone to spend eternity with, not just my life.

 This is not the case with all men though. For example, Cool Rider still wants to get to know me, and jokes with me  that he knows he won't be getting any.   It was honestly flattering, when he found out how very little "action" he would be getting from me and yet he still contacts me.
  And when ****, (the one I met for Dim Sum) was told that sex would never be on the table (or under it...) his reply was, "I'm not looking for sex."
Also, the last man that I dated, respected my belief and never pushed me to have sex.  In fact, I think he had issues that I was willing to kiss him on the first date, had he tried... which he didn't.

The thing that I don't like about dating online and dating in general for that matter, is having to weed through all the crap just to find that one flower.  Yesterday, I had to block someone who wouldn't take NO for an answer.  The last straw came when he sent me a very descriptive email about his intentions.  BLOCKED!

But then there are times, like this morning, when I get an email like this... hold on a minute, I have NEVER got an email like this before.

 I don't say this to everyone and I don't even expect to go out on a date with you, but I would love to share what I see in you, from what I can see in your profile.

There is something magnificent about you. That is the word that springs to mind when I look at you: Magnificent. It is not a word I use to describe many people but you an exceptional case. Your magnificence comes from a look, a style, an energy and demeanor that the great love stories in the history books are written about. A woman that can embody the true characteristics of the female essence can inspire great things in even the simplest of men. Like Helen of Troy whom had a face that could launch a thousand ships, I think you too have a face that could launch a man’s spirit into inspired great things. A woman that knows how to be a woman, a goddess, a queen and lover can move and inspire the world around her as a muse. And when I saw you here, just now, I too felt the effect of greatness surge through me. For the love of a beauty that inspires, men are helpless clay before the potter who spins her craft and molds and shapes the souls of those she applies her hands to. And to the man your love ensnares, he will be putty in your hands… So I challenge you to be brave, confident, and strong, and use that gift of magnificence to shape a world around you. All people are inspired by beauty… all of them. So shine with grace, integrity, love and gentleness. You are a muse… live to inspire so that others may aspire to truly live.

Have a great day,
Daniel

WOW, let me say it again, WOW!

Ask me how good I feel about myself after reading that!

Make it a wonderful day, I know I will!

MY 20 Seconds Of Insnae Courage

This whole being single process still feels so foreign to me, but I am slowly getting use to it.  In the beginning, I felt this urgency to be in a relationship with someone.  I was dying for attention and affection.  But through my experiences over the past year plus, I have grown to become OK with not being married.  Don't get me wrong, I still have the desire to be remarried and have an eternal companion, but I am no longer in a rush to make it happen.  My goal sights have switched focus.  I am now more concerned with continuing to strengthen and better myself and the circumstances of my family.  

That being said, it does NOT mean that I will stop meeting new people or dating.  It is just easier for me to now focus on the fun of new experiences and people, without the stress of wondering if some man is going to love me or not.  Also, the more people (men) I meet, the more I learn about myself and what I need and don't need in a relationship.  I have learned that sometimes what I think I want, is not actually what I need.  I have been able to look at each new experience whether it be one date, or a relationship that formed into a boyfriend/girlfriend status, or anything and everything in between and take something positive away from it.  Here is my latest example of taking something positive out of an experience.

I woke up the other morning to find a text message on my phone, from somebody who had read my blog about Cool Rider.  From what I read into the message and by reading between the lines, this person basically accused me of being a liar, and questioned me on my choice of who I went on a date with.  This person was bothered by the fact that I chose to go on a date with someone who wasn't LDS.  Apparently, this person does not understand the difference between going on A date and being in a committed relationship with someone.
Let me just say this, even if just to hear it myself.  I do not know a single LDS man who wants to date me.  AND just because someone is single and LDS, it does not mean that I should be in a relationship with him.  I will no longer lower my standards and be in a relationship with someone I would not consider being married to.  But, I will never meet someone by sitting at home and hoping he will come magically knocking on my door.  That is why I am willing to meet anyone... given I feel comfortable, and safe.  You never know, what new experience you can have, or who you can meet through other people.  Also, how can I be an example to people around me, if I choose not to associate with people who are not of my faith.  My faith encourages us to live in the world but not of the world.  How can I let my light shine, if I hide it?  I may not be the best example of a Mormon, but I believe I am a dang good example, in that I don't pretend to be perfect and I am willing to own up to it and admit when I have made a mistake and am willing to do what I need to do to make things right.

Whoa... that was a mouthful, and I haven't even gotten to the fun part of the story yet.

Back to being accused and questioned on my judgement.  I wanted to call and speak to this person and have my point of view be understood, but it caused so much contention in me that I felt the need to burn off most of my anger before having this discussion, to ensure that I wouldn't say something out of anger.  I got to the gym and had just gotten ready to start my workout, when my phone rang.  Apparently, this person didn't think a text was enough and wanted to deal with this matter right away.  I stepped outside and dealt with the the issue, but when the conversation was over, still feel like that person had made up their mind about me.  I cannot force someone to believe something that they don't want to.

I went back into the gym and had an amazing run from the adrenalin pumping through my system.  Now, here comes the fun part, and I attribute what happened next, to the adrenalin.

Remember Big Chest?  Well, he was there.  I thought to myself, I should write a note, and leave it on his car.  In fact, I have had this thought, many times.  I thought to myself, I should just write a note, and then, I can save it in my car for sometime when I am feeling braver.  So, I walked over to the front desk, snatched a pen and an ad for boot camp , and wrote a note.  I headed to my car, note in hand, and realized, I wasn't even nervous.  I sat in my car and reread the note.  I didn't like it.  I started searching my car for paper and never before have I been furious with myself for cleaning out my car.  At that moment, I was.  I considered going back in the gym and grabbing another boot camp ad, but what if he left the gym while I was doing that.  I wasn't about to waste this 20 seconds of insane courage I was having.  (Greatest lesson I have ever learned from a movie...)
I opened my glove compartment and ripped a out page from the owners manual of my car, (like I'm ever gonna use that...) and rewrote the note so it was less dorky.  It read:

Not sure how to say this without it being awkward, so I will just say it.
I have had a crush on you for a hella long time.
I would love the chance to get to know you.  If you want, give me a call.
555-555-1234
Jamie
Sorry I am too much of a scaredy cat to approach you in person.

I did say... less dorky, the first one was even worse,  I can't help it... I can't keep the dork restrained for too long or else it busts it's way out with a vengeance eventually.  So I try to let it leak out in tiny amounts.

Next, I drove my car  and parked it right in front of his.  I looked at the gym doors to make sure he wasn't coming out yet.  Still, not even the least bit nervous.  I opened my door, and got out.  I told myself, "You don't have to do this."  But my body disagreed.  It moved forward without thought or care as I lifted his windshield wiper and placed the note under.  Still not nervous.  Wow, I did it.  I felt ... strong.  I could do anything!  I got back in my car, pulled away, and then it hit!  My heart started racing.  I started to hyperventilate a bit and started screaming "OH $#!+"  over and over again.
I tried to calm my breathing, but I was soooo not in control.  I probably should have pulled over, but I had to get away as fast as I could! 
When I got home, I had calmed down a bit, but my stomach was going crazy.  I think I managed to force some food down.

The text from him came about an hour after I placed the note on his car.  It read:

Hey, this is Big Chest, found your note on my car.  Do you have a picture I could see so I can figure out who you are?

I was glad he sent a text instead of calling.  But I really hate sending pictures of myself.  I waited half an hour to respond.

I'm sure you know who I am.  I'm pretty sure you catch me checking you out all the time.

BC - I don't know, I'm kinda oblivious to things going on around me.  A picture would really help.

Me - I seriously hate sending pictures of myself... feels so cheesy... but I get it.

Then I sent the cutest picture of me I could find.

I put my phone down, and waited for a response.  10 minutes go by.  20, 30.  1 hour.  2 hours. 3 hours.  3 freaking hours and the man still hasn't responded!  I know everyone has there views on what they find attractive, and I may not be his type.  Which is perfectly fine.  I'm not hurt if someone isn't attracted to me.  But COME ON!  At least send a response.  Lie to me, if you are worried about how it will be taken.  He could have said, "You're not my type."  "I'm not interested."  "I have a girlfriend."   Really, anything would have been better than no response.  That leads me to believe that he was washing his eyes out with soap after seeing my picture.  Now, I could understand that if I had sent a topless one, THAT would leave someone scarred for life.  But it wasn't.  It was just me and my cheesy grin.
My friend pointed out, that there was a chance that he didn't get the pic.  So, I sent a message that said:
Was my picture really that hideous that you couldn't even come up with a fake excuse?

And still, no reply.

I am not hurt.  I am not mad.  Slightly confused at how he wouldn't even come up with an excuse.  This is what I am choosing to believe happened.:
While he was texting me, he was sitting on the crapper.  When he got my picture, he was so excited that it was me, (the girl he'd been dreaming of all this time) that he dropped his phone into the toilet.  His phone is now ruined.  He had already tossed the note with my number in the trash when he was out and about.  He has been in bed, miserable, trying to figure out what he will say when he sees me, because he is too ashamed to admit he dropped is phone in a toilet full of poop.

What I have learned from this experience-
REJECTION WILL NOT KILL ME.   It only gives me good blog material!

My Very Own Cool Rider

Ever since I saw Grease 2, when I was a kid, I have always dreamed of one day having my very own "cool rider".  And yes, I dreamed of riding off into the sunset on the back of my cool rider's bike.
So you better believe when Cool Rider asked me if I wanted to meet him, go for a sunset Harley ride, and out to dinner, I jumped on that opportunity!

And then it hit me... other than the few brief emails we had sent each other and a few random texts here and there, I had no clue who this cool rider really was.  For all I know, he could ride me out to the middle of the desert, (there's a lot of that here...) hack me up into pieces and bury me, never to be seen again. 

I wasn't dying to meet this guy either.  He came off very cocky and arrogant.  It seemed like he just assumed that I had to get a piece of him.  I got the impression that he could date whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted.  He would address me as, Peaches or Pookie or other lame pet names.  Not really my type of guy.  BUT, and that's a big but, I really, really, wanted to go for a ride on a motorcycle. I had only been on one, one time before.  It was a crotch rocket and the ride lasted all of 5 minutes while I held on to my friends husband for dear life.  Not really what I had envisioned. 

Silly girl with a dream of being someone's biker babe, ya, that's me.

The terms on which I had agreed to this date, included me meeting him at his house, which was a hour and 20 minutes away.  Which, I know, sounds horrible,  that if I wanted to date him, I had to drive to him.  But there was a reason for this, and I will get to that in a second.

I went to bed that night, having visions of me doing motorcycles acrobat moves.  If you want further explanation of that, you will have to talk to me in person, mostly so I can demonstrate for you.  (Oh the things that happen in my head....)

I woke up the next morning and realized, that I had some issues that I wanted to discuss with him before I met him.  The text I sent him read like this:

Hey Mr. Sweet Cheeks,
after much thought, this is what I have come up with.
First, being that I don't know you from Adam, as cute as you appear to be, I am not comfortable meeting you at your house.  Second, I am flattered that you want to take me out, but if you really wanted to, you would be willing to meet me on my side of of town or at the very least, in the middle.  Third, going back to the point that I don't know you, and met you online, my friends think it would be totally stupid and irresponsible of me to just hop on a motorcycle with you.  Fourth, I need to make it clear what type of girl I am,  I don't hook-up or kiss on the first date even.  The most action you could expect, would be me holding on to you when we are on your bike...which is pretty clever of you because I will be holding on for my life!  Fifth, if I feel threatened in any way, I will not hesitate to call 911 and swallow my phone so the cops can find me :-)   So, given that information, if you want to cancel, there are no hard feelings.

To which he responded:

Women, sheesh!
Remember that sunset ride I was talking about?  I simply can't drive from work to even the middle and pick you up then get back in time to see it.  You don't know me, and I don't blame you or your friends for being protective but here is the reality... I am the President of  The _________  Club, Pres/CEO of The  _______________, have two younger sisters and a mother which I protect with my life, and have never been physical with a woman. I'm not trying to be selfish in not driving, you have said that you have no problem driving, when we first talked and I assure you, your schedule is more flexible than mine.  It's up to you, but if I can pass a back round check to work with kids, have never done a drug in my life and my only intention is to have you join me for a motorcycle ride where, at best, my back would occasionally press up against your breasts, I would hardly consider myself a threat.  Better chance of you being killed by a falling coconut than me.  All that being said, if you want to go for a night ride, we can meet in the middle.  From my work to my house is 25 minutes, and another 25 minutes to  __________.  So I guess by the time I get off from work, get home, change, jump on the bike, and head to___________, it would be close to 7:00.  The route we are going on is far east of ___________ heading north.

Seems legit. And at leasts he's honest about the whole breast bit.  So I Googled him, and it was all true. I agreed.

Getting ready for my date that day, there was a lot of me singing and dancing like Stephanie from Grease 2.  I wanna C-O-O-L  R-I-D-E-R. 
If you feel the need to sing too, or have no clue what I am talking about, (you are so missing out)
check out this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYB317pljts
She has the coolest dance moves, and the best thing is, they are ones I can pull off!




When we met, I felt comfortable with him pretty quick.  Super sweet guy, not cocky at all.  I had helmet issues, apparently I have a big head, and had to wear his as opposed to the feminie red one he had for me to wear.  He doesn't wear one usually, so it was fine with him.
 You know how in movies, a gorgeous woman takes off her helmet and she has perfect locks of flowing hair, well, it is so not like that in real life, at all!  Damn Hollywood!

The ride itself was great.  He felt terrible about how hot it was and my head being stuck in that stuffy helmet, so we did stop and wait for the sun to finish setting and for the temp to go down a bit.  We had a good conversation.  I do believe his eyes popped out of his head when I told him I was LDS.   Somewhere during that break from our ride, he said, "I really want to kiss you and I don't know why.  Maybe it's the way you look at me while I talk."   WOOT WOOT!  I have finally mastered one dating skill, I can look men in the eyes! 

Our break probably lasted about 2 hours, it takes forever for it to cool off here, if ever.  We got back on his bike and went for a ride in the mountains/hills.  I was in total heaven.  He took me to a great lookout point, where we could see the entire valley. He pointed out all the different things we could see.  It really was a great spot.  We got off the bike and he came up behind me and put his arms around me, then kissed me on the top of my head.  So sweet.  We stood there for a few minutes, but it felt like an hour.   We were both starving, so we decided to head back to town for dinner.  I turned around to hug him and then it happened, he went in for the kiss!  And guess what , I turned my head.  He apologized, and I thought to myself, "This is totally going to happen anyway, there really is no better spot..." and so, I went in for the kiss.

Ya, he totally called my bluff... even though, I swear, I had not intention of kissing him.

The rest of the date continued to go just as well, and then there was that long, nasty drive home.  Thank goodness for friends who keep late hours so they can talk to me while I drive home.

I can almost guarentee, there will be more dates with Cool Rider.

2 Of My Favorite Things And I Didn't Even Notice

I am a sucker for a guy with a hot voice.  One exciting ( or nerve wracking ) thing about meeting guys from online, is that first phone call, where you get to hear what they sound like.  It has been a deal breaker for me before. There was a guy, last year that I thought, from his pictures was super hot.  I was dying to talk to him.  When I finally talked to him, I wanted to hang up almost immediately.  It was horrible... that may seem shallow, and I'm sorry if it is, but we all have things that either turn us off , or on.  And I don't feel bad about this one either, he was a jerk and would text me asking for pictures of my boobs... so it's better that I wanted nothing to do with him. 

Here's the thing... when I went on a date with ****, (sorry about not giving him a fake name, I forgot to put one in the last  post, and so from this point forward, he will be known as ****.)  I had not talked to him on the phone yet.  All communication had been done via e-mail or text.  When we met for our lunch date, I was so stinking nervous, I didn't pay attention to some  of the things that I normally do.  He talked plenty to me during lunch, but I couldn't tell you what his voice sounded like.  Maybe, part of that was because I couldn't stop staring at his eyes...  (Closing my eyes right now and trying to see them again..... MELTING!)  Almost a week went by, since our date, and we had text each other every day, but still no phone conversation.  Then there was a question that I wanted to ask him, but didn't want to do it over text.  So I called him.  We talked and let me just say, inside I was dying!  How did I spend 3 hours at lunch with this man and not realize how sexy his voice was?  Once again, it had to be the eyes....  Needless to say, if I had it my way, I would get to listen to his voice every night before I went to sleep.  Here's to wishing!

Another thing that I am a sucker for, is a man who smells good.  In high school, I use to borrow my boyfriend's cologne and spray it on my pillow so I could smell it when I went to sleep. Not gonna lie either, recently I have sprayed men's body spray on my pillow so I could have sweet dreams.   I love to bury my face in a man's chest and just leave it there, drinking in the manliness with my nose.  And yes, weird as it may seem,  I love to smell a man's armpits, providing they are clean and B.O. free! 

When my date ended with ****, we gave each other a quick, friendly hug.  It was so quick, (and the whole nervous thingy again, ) that I didn't even notice what he smelled like.  I guess that was a good sign, cause I didn't notice any hideous odors coming from him.... You better believe though, should I be so lucky to get asked out by him again, I'm gonna check. 

No Chicken Feet, This Woman Is Crazy

I was on the way to meet ****, who I met online, for a lunch date.  As I was pumping gas into my car, I looked down at my shirt and noticed a tiny little whole just below the V in the v-neck.  It looked totally tacky.  I had already changed my clothes 5 times, and settled on an outfit I was less than happy with because I wanted to wear a black shirt in case I got a sweaty back or armpits.  Come on, it's August in Arizona and I was way nervous, better to be safe than sorry.  I also noticed tons of blond hair all over my shirt.  My dad had just recently told me that I needed to stop shedding if I ever wanted guys to ask me out on dates, so I got totally self conscience about that too.  I thought to myself, that it was so small he probably wouldn't notice it, but than I realized that he would because he is a man and it was on my chest.  I have learned, no matter how decent a man is, he ALWAYS looks at your chest.  I'm gonna go as far as to say, it's a fact. 

I really wanted to run into a store and and grab a new shirt, but I knew I just didn't have the time.  To make matters worse, I noticed that 2 of my newly painted finger nails were all messed up and I had missed a spot on my knee while shaving.  I was a walking disaster.  After a year, I still really suck at dating. 
There was only one thing that was allowing me to keep it together and not give up hope.  There was going to be no pressure on this date.  That's right, NO PRESSURE!

Prior to the planning of this date, while **** and I were getting to know each other via email and text, it some how came out that I had a blog and what it generally was about.  One night he asked if he could read it.  This is another one of my rules, I don't want guys I am dating or might date reading my blog.  It makes it complicated. I almost always have to take a break from blogging, until that relationship is over.  But once again, how many of my own rules do I break?  I really should stop making rules, they do me no good. 

For whatever reason, I agreed to give him my blog address.  Over the next day or so, he would randomly send me a text, mentioning something in my blog.  From what I could gather, at least he thought I was funny. He did say I was an excellent blogger, which totally made my night.   Then I get a text that says - No matter what happens, I think we would be friends for sure.  not quite sure if I am as open as you though.    OK , so here's the problem that I am NOW having... I mean right NOW as I type this out!  I remember the text message saying something else, and right NOW when I went to copy it down, I realized I had thought it said something else.  At the time, I kept thinking that the text message said, You are way too open for me, but I would still like to be friends.

People!  Do you see the difference?  That would have changed everything!!! The way I acted, what I was wearing, how much cleavage I would have shown....   I am NOW banging my head against the wall (literally) because, I totally made a comment at the end of the date that referred to that text.  NO WONDER HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY!!!!!

I'm so flustered about this realization, that I  can't even concentrate and finish typing to blog.  I think this is truly a sign that I should give up dating forever, or just stop talking and pretend to be a mute.... some men like that, right?

After a quick shot of liquid courage, for us LDS folk, that comes in the form Dr. Pepper, I am ready to carry on, even though, much less focused.

Needless to say, after what I THOUGHT the text said, I was shocked when he suggested meeting for Chinese food.  I really thought it was a blow off comment, but alrighty, that just made it less pressure.

I arrived at the restaurant he picked out.  He stepped outside the door and guess what the man was wearing.  I don't even have to tell my loyal blog readers, but for newbies or  band wagoners (either way, you are all welcomed here to mock me and be entertained...)  I will tell you.  A red shirt and thongs!  I thought to myself, I know he didn't wear that red shirt just for me...and dang he looks cute!  His pictures online did not do him justice.  I could tell from his pictures that he was a good looking dude, but he was even better in person. Wahoo!  But then again... what did this matter, I was already under the impression that I was just friend material to him.

Lunch went good... I think.  We had plenty yo talk about.  I was still nervous the whole time, and he commented that he could tell I was nervous.  Damn, I really suck at the part.  He seemed totally relaxed the whole time.  We had Dim Sum, which was interesting, because I had always ordered off a menu before.  I had no idea what we picked, except we both said no to the chicken feet.  One waitress said, "I know what you like.  You like BBQ pork and egg roll, I can tell." and then she laughed at us.   I think she was making fun of us.

During the 3 hours that we sat there talking, I couldn't stop staring at his eyes.  Not to sound old fashioned, but I would seriously describe them as dreamy.  I mentioned to him, not that they were dreamy, sheeesh, but that I liked them.  That's when he said something about my tank top and my eyes.  OH CRAP!  That must mean that he noticed the whole in my shirt.  I told him when, I noticed it, and that I didn't have time to change it.  I told him what I had thought, about hoping he wouldn't notice it, but then realizing, he is a man and of course he would look at my chest.... that's what men do.  I think he laughed, or smiled, I don't remember.  Half an hour later, he said, "I still don't see the hole."  See!  That's what men do.

I always manage to make an ass out of myself and say something dumb, or stick my foot in my mouth.  As we were walking out, I handed him a stick of gum.  He said, "My breath must really stink."  And like a dork, I responded, "I don't know, I wasn't going to try to kiss you."  What?   Who says that?   Why would I say that?  Really, I should just be mute on dates.  And to make it worse, as he walked me to the car, I thanked him for lunch and said , "You made it easy by taking the pressure off when you said that I was way too open for you but you still  would like to be friends."
And as I mentioned before, he got this look on his face, which at the time, I thought he was thinking something completely different, but now, I know was thinking,
"This woman is crazy!"

Eww! And Gross!

If you are in the market to date, and have the opportunity to meet people and go on dates without going online to meet them, I highly recommend you stay clear of online dating sites.  I unfortunately, do not have this luxury.  So I get to be the guninea pig for for all singles out there who want to know what it's like out there.  And frankly, I have no problem doing it, because it provides me with hilarious stories, even if it is at my own expense.

I have encountered so many different types of people online.  Some turn out to be people that will be life long friends. Some I end up dating.  Some I go on one date, and we know we are not compatible, but know someone who might be good for the other.  There are some that I talk to , and eventually change their name in my phone to read, DO NOT ANSWER.  There are about 5 or 6 of those.  There are some, that are ridiculously good looking, but I am not interested in them, because I know that we have nothing in common, and they are outright shocked when they ask me out and I turn them down.  Those ones refuse to take no for an answer.  Then there are the ones that make me want to quit online dating... and I have several times.  (But I always seem to find my way back.)

Charlie, is an example of someone really good looking but we have nada, zip, zero in common.

Charlie's first email to me read this... and ONLY this.

When are we going out?

To which I responded: I don't know you, I'm not just gonna go out with you.

C: Sooooo, give me your number and we can text.
Me: I don't know you.  I'm not giving you my number.  Plus, I don't want you sending me dirty pictures.
C: I'm not that kind of guy.... unless you want me to be.  Sooo, you ever go out to dance?

I stopped responding at that point.
Next day-
C:  Can we go out Wednesday?
Me: I am the mother of 3, I cannot go out on a Wednesday.  My kids need help with their homework.
C:  Help, then when can we go out?
Me: Where would we go? What would we do?
C: We could go to a bar in Scottsdale.
Me:  I don't drink, so a bar would be bad.

By now you would think he would get the hint.  There is no way I am his type!  I don't dance, I don't drink, I am a mom, And lastly... I don't go to Scottsdale.  For people who don't live in Arizona, Scottsdale is known here as Snottsdale, or Snobsdale... or Douchbagville, as I like to call it.

So, he stopped responding, or so I thought until I got an email from him the next morning.

C:  Well then, you choose.  Where do you want to go?

I have not responded yet.  I don't want to be mean, he hasn't been rude and frankly it has been flattering, which is why I haven't blocked him yet.

So here's the fun part.  I want your help.  What should my next response to him be?  Leave it in the comment section, or for those of you who can't, (I have had people mention they couldn't)  you can send me private message on Facebook. I will post the best responses and then choose one.


I do need to share one example of why people may not want to try online dating. 
Warning - If you do not watch rated R movies, you may not want to continue reading, so stop now. 

For those of you still reading, shhhhhhhh, don't tell the others, but you are my favorites!

I was online, my first 5 minutes after creating a profile on a new site.  A chat window pops up and reads, "Blah blah blah wants to chat with you."  Then you can click - yes or no.  Something told me no, but I ignored it.  My bad.  I opened the chat window and it read, "You are sexy and beautiful, can I cum on the webcam for you?"   AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  NOOOOO!  I didn't even respond, I just shut the window and blocked that user from ever contacting me again. 

Annnndddd, I'm just gonna leave you with that thought.  Have a happy day!