He responds back with -"What is the stereo type, Pioneer or Sony?"
Me - " Well, he ain't no "pioneer" if you know what I mean."
Tom- "No, I don't know what you mean."
And then I left it alone, thinking that it was understood that I wasn't interested.
Ummmm, no... I guess it wasn't, because, towards the end of last week, I got another e-mail from him saying that he was going to be in my part of town the coming up week. (Oh yeah, he lives like 7 hours away.) He wanted to know if I wanted to go on a date.
I didn't.
1- I refuse to ever get involved with another firefighter.
2-I know nothing about him.
3- His pictures on linkup, didn't really show what he looks like. That may sound shallow.... but it's honest!
So , of course you can guess how I responded, right? NO! WRONG!
I said, "I'm game."
(WHAT THE HELL! What is wrong with me? )
Then I said - "Since I know nothing about you, it has to be during the day, in public, with a lot of other people around. I don't want the next days headlines in the newspaper to read 'WOMAN FOUND DEAD IN DESERT AFTER MEETING GUY FROM ONLINE'.
He then proceeds to tell me that he just had surgery on his ankle and can't walk or put any pressure on it. So maybe we could go to the movies.
THE MOVIES? REALLY?
I gave him my phone number so he could call me. He did the next day. He asked what movie I wanted to see, and he named some kid movie, I said no, thinking he was kidding. Then he asked if I wanted to see The Smurfs. (Is this guy for real?) I politely said no. Then he suggested Planet Of the Apes. I agreed. He suggested that we meet at the theater at 10:45 and said I would know who he was because he would be the guy on crutches.
I showed up at the theater at 10:40, and went to go stand out front. It was only 108 degrees. (Yes, I did say ONLY, hahaha.)
Since he couldn't put any pressure on his ankle and drive, I kept watch for a car to pull up to the curb and drop him off. It had to be senior citizen day at the movies, because, I watched car after car pull up to the curb and someone would slowly start to get out of the car, I would see a cane emerge and think that it would be him.. But, car after car, it was just little old ladies getting dropped off by their old man.
At 11:00 I realized that I probably got stood up. (And I was kind of OK with that.) Then a few minutes later, I got a text message from him. He said he was on his way and that he was slow with only one leg.
I waited for another 17 minutes before he finally arrived. When I had talked to him on the phone, I thought to myself that he sounded old and redneck-ish. And yep, he looked old and redneck-ish. And he had a Holk Hogan style mustache.
But I was friendly and smiled and introduced myself. As he hobbled over to the window to the buy the movie tickets, I noticed, he had TONS of butt sweat! EWWWWWW GROSSSS! I tried really hard not to look in that general direction anymore. I tried to remind myself that this is Arizona.... but I was still grossed out.
Then we went in and he hobbled over to the concession stand, and pulled out 2 refillable movie theater cups out of his backpack. I hope I don't need to explain to you why that was weird... cause it just was.
Then we went into the theater and watched the movie. Mostly we were silent, except one comment that he made.... Let me remind you, we were watching a SciFi movie, where Apes talk and take over the world... So, there's this part in the movie, where they take the ape to the redwoods so he can climb trees, and *Tom says, "That tree is too smooth, there's no way he would be able to climb up it." REALLY TOM? Really?
When the movie was over, we rinsed out his cups and I put them back into his backpack for him.
He then asked if I wanted to get lunch, I told him we could, but that I had to leave in 50 minutes to pick up my kids. FYI, this was not new information to him. I had already told him what time I had to pick up my kids the day before. Something then occurred to me.... How was he getting home? So I asked. He said "Could you give me a ride home?" Ummmm, Hello McFly... when did you plan on mentioning this to me... is what I wanted to say. But instead I asked him where it was I would be taking him. When he told me the address, well there was just no way I would make it to pick up my kids on time. I told him that wouldn't work. He said he would call someone and that we could go eat. So he climbed in my car, he wanted to sit in the back, but the car seat was in the way, haha!
We went to http://www.heidisbrooklyndeli.com/, and had really yummy sandwich's. For the most part, lunch went by smooth, except one thing... we were sitting in a booth across from one another, and he propped his casted foot up next to me in the booth. I was trapped by his foot!
By the time lunch was over, no one had gotten back to him about picking him up, and so, I dropped him off... at his grandpa's house.
And that my friends, will be the last time you read about sweaty butt Tom.
