It's A Guy Thing

A while back, I was talking to a friend, and I had asked him if he read my blog.  At the time, I was mostly curious to know if he had read it, because, he was the guy that I had met at the grocery with my kids in tow.  His response to me was, "Guys don't read blogs."  I don't believe that to be completely true.  But I think I would change that statement to, MOST  guys don't read blogs.  Or actually I think it is more like, most guys don't read blogs about middle aged divorced women who are back in the dating field, (and keep screwing up.)

But the funny thing is, every once in a while, some guy makes it known to me that they do read it.

I was visiting with a friend tonight, and her husband brought it to my attention that his wife shares EVERYTHING with him.  (I remember those days, laying in bed with my husband, and talking about eveything and everyone.  That one special person, that you could confide everything in.  I do miss that.)  I don't remember excactly what he said, but something about how I was inappropriate or something. 

 I'm sure this was brought on, by the fact that as I was walking into his house, I was mentioning to my other friend, who was with me, that turkeys don't have a penis.  They just have a sperm sack that they rub on the female.  (A fact I just learned around Thanksgiving time, thanks to my friend Aubrey.  She is so smart, that one.)    I swear there was a NON-dirty reason we were having this conversation, but that is another story.   Anyway,  he made a comment about how he read my blog, I think his wife makes him read it, actually, but still, I got a little excited.  Then he started making fun of me, about how I give up online dating and then go back to it.  I told him, I had given it up for good, but still have a few unshared stories that I have saved for when I feel the need to blog, yet have nothing to actually blog about.  Which seems to be the story of my life lately.

After I left, I started to think about some of the absurd things I blog about.   Men who read this, must think I am CRAZY, but let me just say, there are so many woman out there, that think just like me.   I am just willing to admit all the craziness that happens.  Wether, it's my hopes, dreams, fears, doubts, or stupid mistakes, I am willing to share them all.  You get what you see, with me.

Someone once asked me, "What if someone you are dating reads your blog?" 
Well, I guess he would know what he is instore for, and if he can't handle my blog, then he shouldn't date me in the first place.  But let me remind you, I did not blog about the last relationship, while I was in it.

My blog could be very useful to a guy who actually wanted to date me, assuming that there is anyone left who wants to.  If a guy wasn't sure about how to take me, or if certin things were ok to try or do on a date, he could just refer to the blog. 

Here are some examples-

Q:  What should I wear on a date with her?  (And yes, I know some guys who think about this.)
A:  Well, if you want to make me swoon, a comfy red t-shirt, jeans, thongs, and if it's cool out, a hoodie.
             (and when I say thongs, I don't mean the kind that goes up you butt crack, I'm talking between your toes!)
       But, really, anything casual works.  I do love to get dressed up on Sundays, for church, and that's about 
      it.

Q: Would she enjoy ballroom dancing on our date.
A: HELL to the NO!

Q: I know she likes me, should I hold her hand in public?
A: YES!  If you don't want people to know you are dating me, then, don't date me.  Simple.

Q:  I know she likes me and I like her, should I kiss her?
A: What are you waiting for?

Q:  Does this girl know that she offers up TMI?
A:  Yes, I know, and I am almost sorry... but not really.



Oh, one more thing, if you have ever wondered, what happened to the guy that I met in the grocery store, refer back to the first sentence of the blog.

First Things First

I am totally in the mood to blog.

I want to share with you the funniest story about a date that I went on, that went totally wrong...but I can't because, that would  mean that I actually went on a date recently. 

I thought about sharing my first real date, after my divorce was final.  But, nothing funny happened.  It was just a nice date.  And that's all it ended up being, one date.  And that's OK.

I was thinking about sharing my first date with The Chad, or the time The Chad and I took all 7 of our kids out to eat at a restaurant, but my emotions are still to raw.

I would love to tell you about some cute guy that I am emailing and hoping to meet soon, but I am totally over online dating.

I wish I could tell you about the guy that my friend tried to set me up with, but when I contacted him, he never responded.

I was hoping  I could tell you that the guy I hung out with a few weeks ago was an amazing kisser, but he never made a move.

Sadly, I can't tell you that I got kissed  at midnight on New Year's, because the guy who promised he would, showed his true colors and decided instead to let me know that he was hoping to bring in the new year with a good "bang", with someone else.

It would be fun if I could tell you that I had the nerve to ask a crush to be my date at a wedding I just went to, but I'm a chicken.

This is what I can say.

I may not be in a relationship now, but I have these things to look forward to:

• Getting asked out on a date, and remaining calm until I am no longer in contact with that person and then calling my best friends, and screaming with excitement.
•  Getting all excited and nervous, changing my clothes 20 times, while I get ready for that first date.
• Having butterflies all night, wondering if he is going to kiss me, even though I promised myself I wouldn't kiss him on the first date.
• That euphoric feeling  I get when I kiss someone I really like for the first time.
• When the right guy puts his arms around me, I melt my head onto his chest, and then he kisses the top of my head.
• When the man I am dating, holds my hand in public and intoduces me as his girlfriend.
• Introducing him to my friends, and having them smile and give thumbs up when he's not looking.

 I could go on with so many more, but these are just the first steps.  Of course, the time will come when I will say

But, first things first!

2012 - Starting It Off Right

The years 2010, and 2011, had to be the worst years of my life.  My whole world came crashing down around me.  There were moments, that I thought that I wouldn't be able to go on living for another day.

At the same time, I grew (and shrunk, thank heavens!) by leaps and bounds.  I found  a new strength within me that I never knew I had.

I am finally at a point in my life, where I can say that I truly love myself.  I have finally realized that I am an amazing woman.
 I am more comfortable in my skin than I have ever been, well.... with the exception of the 15 or so pounds I have put on over the holidays.  But that doesn't bother me now that much, in fact, I pretty much had a Live It Up! attitude from October on.  I have the knowledge, the means, the desire and most of all the support to get back to my goal weight that I was at during summer.

I have accepted my 'lack of a filter', as one of the things people love about me.  And while at times I try to improve on what flows out my mouth and should get filed as TMI, I really don't give a poop what people think about me.  And even if people don't like my potty humor, or filthy mouth, there seems to be enough other things that they find endearing about me to want to keep me around. 

One thing is for sure, I have no shortage of family and friends who constantly show me they love me and support me.

New Years Eve 2011, pretty much SUCKED BALLS! (Please read that correctly, it was not ME sucking balls.)  Wanting the person who hurt my feelings to know this, I posted it on Facebook. That is not normally how I roll, (with a few exceptions, I don't claim to be perfect by any means).  Within minutes, I had multitudes of friends texting me, with words of encouragement.  The best of all, though, came at 2:18am.  It was a friend sending me a picture text of a mistake she made on Facebook, I think due to the auto correct on her phone.   During the course of our conversation, for whatever random reason, I brought up a story that had us both laughing hysterically.  At least I assume she was...   Let me share it with you.

Go back a few years, to when I actually slept in bed with someone else.  I was in bed next to that guy that I use to be married to, it was the middle of the night.  He was in a dead sleep.  For whatever random reason, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be funny if he farted in his sleep.  Then HE DID!  It was like I commanded him to do it with my mind power! I started laughing, bed shaking laughter!  The kind that hurts, you can't breathe.  It woke him up.  He asked what was so funny... I was laughing so hard, it probably took me 5 minutes to get out what had just occurred.  He did not think this was funny at all.  I tried to stop laughing, but every time I did, I would think about it again, and I would start up all over.  I got kicked out of the room that night.  There were many nights that followed, all I would do, was think about the incident, and BAM, laughing my butt off again.

The point of my story, is this.
 2011 ended really crappy.
2012 began with me laughing .  That is my favorite thing to do.  What better way to start the new year, than with laughter.

So, if you should ever need a good laugh.  Just listen, in the dead of night, for the person sleeping next to you (should you be that lucky), to pass some gas, and I promise, after reading this... you won't be able to not laugh. (Power of suggestion!  It's my mind power!)

I do think I got way off track from where I started to go with this blog... but it just feels like a good place to end.