I was so nervous for my first kiss. We had talked about where it would happen, when it would happen and what would happen. I daydreamed about every little detail. What time of day it would be, what I would be wearing, what his cologne would smell like.... even what kind of gum I would be chewing. I dreamed about him wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in to make me feel safe, his lips touching mine, and how I would just melt, and my knees would buckle and he would have to hold me up.
Funny.... this is just as true now as it was when I got my first kiss at age 12.
Imagine waving lines appearing as we head into flashback mode....
He was my "boyfriend", but at age 12... all that really means is.... ummmm... I still don't know. He had been trying to get me to kiss him for awhile, but, I was so stinking nervous. From what I knew... he had already kissed at least one girl, so he had "experience"! Plus, this guy was 8 days older then me! (Seriously folks... at age 12.... how much experience can one guy have?) I was worried that I wouldn't be good at kissing. I tried kissing my hand, but my hand couldn't tell me if I was doing something wrong. I kissed the guys on my New Kids On The Block poster, all but Danny, that is, and it didn't seem to complain, but still, this was a BIG deal.
Finally, he made a deal with me. He played baseball. He said that if he won the next game, I had to kiss him. I agreed. My dad took me to watch his game. He pitched that night, and yes, his team won. After the game, I went over to give him a hug (soooo wasn't gonna kiss him in front of my dad), but just as I went to reach out to him, my dad's arm swooped over my shoulder and we were walking away, towards the car. I do believe that is the ONLY time my dad ever walked with his arm around me.
The next day we planned on meeting at the high school, which was in the middle of our houses. We rode bikes and met each other in the middle of the quad. I was wearing a new outfit from Wet Seal, (totally in at the time.) We parked our bikes and smiled at each other. I sat down on a bench next to him. He leaned into me, and kissed my lips. I just kinda... put my lips there and made a smooch sound. That was soooooo not the kind of kiss he had in mind! "Open your mouth!" he said. I just started laughing... I just couldn't do it. The thought of his tongue in my mouth, horrified me!
The next series of events go down as the worst kiss EVER... but the BEST first kiss story ever.
He grabbed my face, and began to lick it from top to bottom, the whole time telling me that he wasn't going to stop, until I opened my mouth. As if I wasn't grossed out enough before... just the thought of it now...*GAG*!!!!!! This lasted for what seemed like hours, but was actually more like 30 seconds... still that is a long time to lick someones face! (again.... gagging, literally!) Then when I couldn't take it anymore, I gave up and opened my mouth. He jammed his tongue in, and .... I bit down as hard as I could! That's right! It hurt him pretty bad, awwwww, too bad, sooo sad! But then I did feel bad, so after a his tongue stopped pulsing..I gave it a try. He stuck his tongue back in (brave guy), and we had a few minutes of tongue swirling action. VERY SLOPPY!
When it was over, I rode my bike home. I went and looked in the mirror to see if I looked different... I was so scared my mom would be able to look at me and KNOW that I kissed a boy. But she didn't.
My first post-divorce kiss, was nothing like that, THANK HEAVENS! It was AMAZING. Everything that I dreamed it would be! And that's all I'm gonna say about that!
