Alex, I would like, WHO IS Hot Daddy, for 100 please

Someone recently told me, that when I started dating again, that I would revert back to my old dating habits from the last time I was "dating".  Well, I was 19 when I got engaged, so ummmm, yeah, I'm screwed!  I'm not even dating yet and I get giddy just talking about guys that I hope to be able to meet and maybe date.

Tonight, I was getting ready to make my kids lunches for school tomorrow.  I was going through their backpacks, pulling out all the old paperwork, when I pull out a half sheet of paper from my Kindergartener's bag.
It reads:
We have spent so much time together this year and I know some of you might want to keep in touch over the summer.  This is strictly voluntary.  If you would like to participate, please fill in the information listed below and return by Friday, June 3rd so that I can compile a directory and send out by next week.  Thank you.
Child's Name________________________________
Parent's Name_______________________________
Contact Number(s)___________________________

YES! YES! YES! Sign me up PLEASE! I would like to schedule a play date with...... drumroll please... Hot Daddy! 
No, I am not really going to call him, (mostly because I would clam up and start to stutter, and then giggle and then ...HANG UP!  Which doesn't work very well now a days, with caller ID!)  But of course, it did cross my mind.  But I'm not gonna lie, I am totally excited to find out what Hot Daddy's real name is!  Why?  I don't know.... I just am!

WHAT HAVE I DONE?! (Smashes head into hands and shakes head.)

It's about 11:30 pm.  I had a busy day, but didn't really have anything fun to blog about..... that is until about 15 minutes ago.

*Insert high pitched girl scream here.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So I was on Facebook, not doing much of anything ... kept thinking to myself, I need to shut down the computer and do some reading.  But, I can't even follow my own advice, remember?  So on the right hand side of FB, it sometimes suggest people that you might want to be friends with.  Usually, it's because you have friends in common.  And then, occasionally, there doesn't appear to be a rhyme or reason to why FB is suggesting a friend.  Well, guess who just so happen to pop up, *CAMPBELL!

 *Insert another high pitched girl scream here .... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Here's the thing... I just deleted all his info from my phone a few days ago.  Just so I wouldn't be tempted to start texting him again.  (Along with a few others...)

In case you haven't learned yet.... my mind starts racing like crazy when I'm not sure what to do.
Here is a glimps of what was said in my head:
-WHAT THE!!!!!!!!!!!
-NO WAY! That can't be him!
-It's a sign!
-Stay away!
-Wahoooo! It's fate!
-What should I do?  Can't text him, number is gone.
-I'll send him a message!
-Ahhhhh, what if I send him a message and he wants to be FB friends!  CRAP!  CAN"T 'FRIEND' HIM, HE WILL SEE THE BLOG! AND HIS PICTURE!
(If some entries start disappearing, that could mean that I have 'friended' him.  But, most likely I will not.)
-Awww, he looks so sweet!
-MUST CALL JEN!
And that was all in a matter of 5 seconds.

So, I sent Jen a text to see if she was still up. (Jen is my voice of reason, when I have none.)  She was.  Of course she was, it's still before 2:00 am.  So I called her and told her what just happened.  The only thing I really remember her saying to me was ,"Now, just because this happened, doesn't mean your're gonna marry him."  Or something like that.  And I said something like, "No, I'm just gonna date him."

So, of course, I sent him a quick little message to him, telling him how funny it was that FB suggested we be friends.
NOW,  He just might think I am a stalker and looked up every *Campbell on Facebook, or.... I am guessing, I will wake up tomorrow with a text message asking for a picture of me in my yoga pants again. 
WHAT HAVE I DONE?! (Smashes head into hands and shakes head.)

Red T-Shirt = HOT

I have been making "lists", some mental and some that I actually write down, of what I want in a husband.  I even sat down with my girls one night, and I had them tell me qualities that they want someone I date to have.  That list is somewhere in a box.... (lots of those around since the move). It is the cutest list of 25 or so things, one of which includes, -HE MUST SHAKE HIS BUTT!  If I ever unpack, I will share it with ya'll. 

One thing that made that made my list (mental) and also made my girls list, is -I MUST BE ATTRACTED TO HIM.  (Ummmm, duh, but I did think it was nice of my girls to consider that.)

So I have been going back over, in my mind,  what I am attracted to.  Let me just say, I do NOT have a set type.  And some of you are going to find some of the things I find attractive.... ummm, strange.  Two of my friends have already made fun of me today for the next thing I am going to tell you.


THE HOT OUTFIT- Now, what I find "hot" and what you find "hot" are probably totally different.  But, here is one of my favorite hot outfits.
Red T-shirt (not to baggy) Jeans, and Thongs.  (And NO, I do not mean "up your butt thongs")

And the other thing that I totally can't resist, is a guy in a zip up hoodie sweatshirt.!

Preferably, a surf or skater brand one.
Now, I know this may sound crazy to some of you... but it's just something that I find irresistible.  Just the way some men like women in high heels, and short skirts.... I love me man in those casual items.  Maybe it's the "California Girl" in me... but that's just me.

 Now don't get me wrong, I have been known to check out all types, surfer, skater, prep, wanna be hippie, business man, hunter, sports fanatic, computer geek, and I even have a cousin in Texas on the lookout for a single, sexy, cowboy for me.  The type I guy that I ultimately end up with is not important.  Honestly what matters is that he treats me (and my daughters) well.  But I'm not gonna lie, it sure wouldn't hurt if he was wearing my favorite outfit.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I saw Hot Daddy this morning when I dropped the girls off at school.  Guess what he was wearing!  HmmmmMmmmm!  (Minus the hoodie, this is Arizona, ya know!)

Part 2, Of My Mom Said "Be Careful, He's Cute."

So I left off, promising to report back.  Well, last night I did not respond!  I can hear you all cheering!  I even think there was one "You go girl!", followed by a head roll and a snap.  So I am sure you are all wondering, where does that leave us now...  Oh, but I said "last night".  There is more to this story ..... there always is, haven't you learned yet?   (Heaven knows I sure haven't learned yet.)
I woke up this morning.. and of course, I had to check my phone.... just in case. There was nothing.  Now remember, I thought I had called him out... and THEN he was the one who sent me a message that said .... "I want to be married."  

 Somebody, please tell me what the heck is going on!  I am so confused!  I put on my usual 'drop the kids off at school outfit,' yoga pants and a fitted V-neck. (what?  I have to look cute in case I see 'Hot Daddy'.  Oh wait, I haven't told you my 'Hot Daddy' story yet.  That's a good one, the first guy to actually flirt with me, but that will have to wait.)  I get the kids in the car, and notice that I have a text.  I check to see who it's from, Campbell!   It reads "And have fun along the way .... So both!" 
  I just started laughing out loud!  This guy is such a jerk.  The great thing about texting... I can take my time to respond (or not),  and come up with the perfect come back!  So I thought, and thought, and thought some more.  I came up with some really good ones.  They all had everything to do with, it's his loss, because someday, when I am married again, I will make my husband sooooooooooo happy....... and how I am worth the wait... and  other stuff.  I went for a run/walk , the more I thought about it, the harder  and faster I pushed myself.  And the decision I finally made, just not to respond.  That just felt right.  I hear you all cheering again....wait, hold applause please...  because at 2:40, I get another text!    "Did that scare you away?" 

Well you know me by now, I don't even follow my own rules...  "LOL, I'm not scared, I just figured since I wasn't going to tell you what you wanted to hear, then you didn't want to hear from me at all."  We went back and forth for a lil bit, and then the conversation got nice, and flirty , but on the light side.  WAIT, WHAT?  How did that happen, I told you guys... he is smooth, this one.

Relearning To Flirt and HOT DADDY

Back in 2000, after I had been married for about 2 years, I realized that I had forgotten how to flirt.  We were down in San Felipe, Mexico for a week with family.  I was down at the beach, just putting my feet in the ocean, when a jeep full of guys came driving up.  They were about 50 so feet away.  They yelled for me to come over to them.  Now, normally, I would have been excited, gone over to them and flirted, and of course, there would have been nothing wrong with going over there and saying hi, but I didn't.  Instead, I froze!  My mind started racing "I'm married!  I can't go over there, I'm married!"  So , instead of of walking over there and having a friendly conversation, I turned around and ran into the ocean.   The guys started yelling crude names at me, and drove away.  Over the years, it didn't get much better, if a cute guy so much as flashed me a smile, I wouldn't even look at him.  I had completely lost "my flirt".

I have realized that I am going to have to start flirting again.  That is where HOT DADDY comes in.  Hot Daddy is the father of a little boy in one of my daughters classes.  One day I thought to myself, "I would like someone to flirt with."  And then I noticed, Hot Daddy.  He is one of those guys that knows he is good looking, you can tell it by the way he walks.  One day, after school,  I was holding my daughter's hand as we crossed the street to go to the car.  I knew that Hot Daddy was walking behind us.  I heard him say to his son, "What's that little girls name."  I heard him respond with my daughters name, I turned around and smiled at him.  He smiled back.  (See now, that wasn't so hard.) 

The next day, when I got to the school to pick up the girls, I waited until I saw his silver mini van (not so hot), drive up and park.  Then I got out and headed across the street.  I could hear him walk fast behind me, and then slow down as he caught up with me, so that we were walking side by side.  I was pushing my youngest in a stroller, and there were a lot of kids blocking the sidewalk.  He said to me, "Let me clear the way for you.", and then he start moving kids out of the way, as if parting the red sea, to make room for the stroller.  I thanked him, and he said, "See, we make a good team."  Oh crap, I totally started freaking out on the inside..... how do I respond to that?  Quick! Think of something clever and witty to say, but all that came out was, "Yes we do." I guess that wasn't the worst thing I could say, I just knew that if I was better prepared I could have come up with a much better response.

Every day after that, I would wait in the car, until he drove up, and then get out and head across the  street.  He would walk fast to catch up, and then walk next to me.  We would small talk and he would open the door for me.  It was fun.  I had no intention of things ever going any where with him.  It was just, after years of being really down on myself and feeling unattractive, it felt good to have a man notice me.

Then there was a brief moment in time when my ex led me to believe that he wanted to get back together. (Which lasted about 3 minutes,)  So I put back on my wedding ring.  I was walking to my daughters class, and Hot Daddy was walking next to me, and the sun was shining in my eyes.  I put my hand up, to cover my eyes from the glare, and he must have noticed my ring, because he took off.  He stopped walking with me, even started parking in a different parking lot.  It has been 5 months, and he still wont even say "hi" to me.  Of course he did the right, thing, but it's not like there was ever anything even between us.  Really, our small talk wasn't anything different then I have with other moms at the school, while we wait for our kids to come out of class.

So, you are probably wondering why I bring up Hot Daddy, if that is all there is to the story.  Well, my mom was in town the other day, to help me unpack.  She went with me to pick up the girls from school.  Walking out of the building, she almost ran into Hot Daddy.  I said "Mom, that was Hot Daddy."  She said that he didn't look like she expected him to look.  But I said to her, "But you noticed him."  He may not be the "type" I normally would go for, but he does not go unnoticed.  My daughter heard me talking about Hot Daddy and wanted to know who I was talking about.  I told her that Gabe's dad was hot.

The next day, driving home from school, she said "I told Gabe that you think his dad is hot."  Oops!  Do not tell 5 year olds things that you do not want repeated.  So if anything comes of this, I will let you know.

I did happen to notice a Hot Daddy #2, the other day, and I think I caught him checking me out.  My kids have 3 weeks left of school, maybe I will get to practice flirting some more.  We shall see!

Rumor has it you missed me

I know I have left you hanging.  And I would like to tell you I am sorry, but... I'm not.  The past week-ish or so, has been cRaZy!   I'm not sure where to begin, so how about, not from the beginning.

How about an update on Campbell (that's why Campbell's soup is ummmm, ummmm good,) - Finally ditched him... well actually he gave up (which is what I wanted) when I wouldn't send him a picture of me in yoga pants or a swimsuit.  I get it, YES I look cute in yoga pants (or at least my butt sure does!) but it got really annoying when I woke up every morning to a text that said only, "YOGA PANTS?"  To which I would respond, "Yea, I'll get right on that." 

I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice as you read that last bit, and see my eyes roll.  Because, boy, he sure couldn't.  But I guess you can't blame him, he's all the way in another state, doesn't get to check out my cute butt from behind.  I mean, I even check it out in the mirror every morning,  with my yoga pants on... mostly I check to make sure it's still cute.. some mornings I'm like, YEP, and other mornings, I think to myself  "TIME TO START RUNNING STAIRS AGAIN!"

Next update - HOUSE-  Let's see, I think I mentioned that it sold on the 2nd.    Then I got 2 notices to get immediately.  Then about 1 week later, I got a summons! I was being sued for still being in the house!  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!  So, for a brief moment, I panicked!   I called my attorney (WONDERFUL MAN), and let him know what was going on.  I called a few friends, let them know.  At some point, I got on my knees and prayed.  I have had faith all along that Heavenly Father would take care of me ... and my 3 babies.  I didn't know how, when or in what way, but, I KNEW he would.

And he did.

Sunday, I walked into church and my friend Jen, hurried over to me.  She told me that the Bishop and the members of the bishopric were extremely concerned that I would be locked out of my home.  They were arranging to have people come move me out of my house that very evening.  All, during church, it was hard to concentrate.  I had so many emotions running through my head, scared, nervous, panic, urgency, but most of all, humbled.  After church, friends just started showing up and said, "What can I do, what should I pack?"  I was kind of a wreck, so I put Jen in charge.  And took charge she did, (she is amazing that way).  Then, later that evening, after seminary graduation, tons more people started showing up.  I wouldn't hesitate to say, maybe even 60 people, were there removing every last item from my home.  I have never felt more loved or blessed!  Later that night, I thought that I would be crying because of losing my home, but NO, I cried because I could feel our Savior's love.  I felt it from the loving service that was given to my family that day. 
Monday, around 1:30 pm -ish, I was driving by the house, I saw a truck in the driveway.  I stopped and talked to the guy peeking in the windows.  He was there to change the locks.  As I drove away, I said of prayer of thanks.  I am so grateful for those who listened to the promptings of the Holy Ghost and then quickly acted on them.

Next- living situation-   Another prayer answered.  A family in my ward, are "snowbirds".  Mary, wanted someone living in her house while she went back to Washington for the summer.  She mentioned it to someone, who then told me.  I was stubborn, and wanted to go straight into my own place.  But the timing just isn't right for that to happen right now.  Friday, I called her and asked if moving in for the time she was away was actually an option. 
Let me just say, there could not be a more loving, generous, sweet and incredibly adorable woman.  (Haven't met her hubby yet, but I am sure he must be the same).  Mary welcomed my 3 daughters and me into her home with loving arms.  We practically took over the whole upstairs.  I have never felt more comfortable in someones home that wasn't family.  I feel like she is family,and I have only been here 4 nights.  And to be honest, I don't want her to go back to Washington, and neither do my girls.

Next- Getting sued- Tuesday, my attorney called and told me he got the charges dismissed!  I was suppose to be in court on Wednesday!  I couldn't believe it.  Another blessing!

I promise to get back to the hijinks's of my quest to find a man, and there are many more to come, but I couldn't feel good about myself if I didn't share how truly blessed I feel with you.  And now, it's really late, or very early, depends on how you look at it.  So I am off, like a heard of turtles!

My Mom Said "Becareful, He's Cute."

Remember I was going "shopping" on Friday night.... well, it's already time to return the tool, he's defective!

Saturday, actually I met the most charming, smooth talking (I should of known...) guy on line.
His screen name was ... imwaiting4u...  and with that dreamy, pearly white smile, it made me say "Oh and am I ever waiting for you!"

On ldslinkup.com, you can check out a persons profile page.  If you want, you can send them an e-mail, or not... but here's the kicker, unless you pay for the upgraded service, people can check to see who has looked at their profile.  This can be good and bad.  It can be good, when you want someone to notice you.  It will let them know,1 time per day if you checked their profile.  So if you want someone to notice you and you are the type of person who doesn't want to send an e-mail first, you could check it say, everyday for a week, and they would notice that you are stalking them.  Hopefully they get the hint, before that though.  It can also be bad, because, sometimes a person profile picture is small and hard to see, and then you check their profile and BAM, there's Grandpa Joe, missing his tooth smiling at you.  Then he checks to see who was viewing him, and he gets all excited, and sends you an e-mail asking about the history of your town! (TRUE STORY!)


So that is how I met imwaiting4u, let's call this one... Campbell.  Let me just say, he is SMOOTH! I checked him out first.  He lives in Utah (beginning to think all the bad boys live there.)  He is 43, (OK that is so out of the range that I wanted to date, but wait til you see him, not the average 43 year old, at least not that I have met).  So he sends an e-mail.   He has his intro down perfect!  I am guessing, he has it on file and just copies and pastes it all day long. 

Some guys just write, "Hi, I'm Tom.  You're pretty. How are you doing?"  To which I reply "Thank you. I'm good."    Well, you ALL know that I can do a lot better than that!  But if a guy is going to keep up with me... he must be a talker!  So to the guys who at least tried a little, I will respond a little.


He starts by saying, "I'm sure you've heard them all before, You're Beautiful, You're my next girlfriend,", (and some other cheesy pick up lines I don't remember), and then he just starts bragging about himself.  He was tall, 6'4, great at conversation, I don't remember it all.  All I know is he caught my attention, in a big way. 

So I responded back, letting him know that I that I liked that he actually had something to say.  So we e-mailed back and forth all night.  Then before the night was over he asked for my phone number... Um, haven't we been down this road before? 

I told him I was hesitant to give it to him.  Seems like, more times then not, the conversation starts out nice, friendly , safe.  Then as soon as they get your number to text you, (NOT ALL OF THEM, BUT A LOT,) feel like it's OK to turn the conversation dirty.  He agreed that he had heard stories about stuff like that, and that most guys are pervs!  He told me to do what ever made me comfortable.  (Awwww, how sweet, right?  No! I'm a sucka!)  So I gave it to him.  The next day, he still responded by e-mail.  I responded back, reminding him that I already gave him my number, and I ever said in that e-mail, "Here's to learning my lesson the hard way."  
So, Sunday was good.  Felt like I got to know him.  Talked about his kids, a little bit about his job.
Monday, more of the same.  I also spent A LOT of time packing... while texting.  Conversation got more flirty, but I was good ( I put a new patch in my filter).
Tuesday, conversation got much more flirty.  He was definitely seeing how far he could take things.... I would respond with, "Nice try, buddy."
Finally he realized he wasn't going to get what he wanted out of me.  And he had the nerve to say that if I was just a prude looking for a Peter Priesthood (a letter of the law type of guy, for you non-LDS readers) that he didn't want to waste  my time.   A few angry texts from me later... I figured it was over, and of course that is fine with me.  I mean, what's the point.  The last text I sent said "Are you actually looking to get married again in the future or are you just looking to have fun?" 

That was it.  I knew calling him out, would finally end the conversation.  I called my girlfriend to vent.  I made her promise not to say, "I told you so."  So agreed.  I deleted my profile on ldslinkup, for the 2nd time. That's right ladies, I said 2nd time.  I will never return to online dating sites (at least not for another week or so.... just kidding.)  I learned my lesson the hard way.

So this is where this story ends... wait, no it doesn't.  Because one hour later... I received this text from him.  "I want to be married."
For tonight I am done.  I will not respond!  I want to say that I will not respond tomorrow.... I know many of you will be shouting at your computer screens saying "DORKY GIRL, DON'T DO IT!"  I am telling myself that very thing! 
I sit here, laughing at my sorry self.... it's 2:00 am.  But I had to share.  I will not make any promises about what I will or will not do, only that, I will report back!

 





Getting My Back Up Plan In Line

It's just another lonely Friday evening, for pathetic old me.  It's not even 9:30pm yet, and my eyes are getting heavy.  I remember the days when I was still getting ready to go out at 9:30. (sigh)

I have decided that the day my divorce is final, I will be going on a date.  There are several problems with this:
- I don not know what that date is....
and
- The guy, I want to date, well he is Mr. social.  He is never not busy.  He is always out with friends, or on a date.  It was driving me crazy that I couldn't date him yet, because I just KNOW that once he dates me, he wont want to date anyone else. (Bahahahahaha)  But all these girls would comment on his Facebook profile, about wanting to be his date. and I would check them out and get mad.   (Can you say... psycho, yes me).  So I kind of cut him off, I dropped him as a FB friend and asked him to not text, and I would let him know when I could date.  But, I can't even follow my own rules, maybe once a week, I still send him a text, just a quick one, so he will know I am still interested. So, my dilemma is, just in case he's not around (or got tired of waiting, and I wouldn't blame him) I need to line up some more potential dates.

Here is my fear...  like most Mormon girls, I wasn't aloud to date until I was 16. (Oh, but I almost always had a boyfriend, from the time I was 12.  I just didn't go on a 'date' with them.  hehehe)  One of my really good friends, (actually my first kiss from when I was 12,) had said for years that he was going to take me on my first date when I turned 16.  So, that date rolled around, we had been talking about it for weeks.  At school that morning, I remember him telling me he was gonna pick me up.  So that night, I remember brushing my teeth, I had my braces taken off that day, and couldn't stop staring at my teeth.  I was excited... I was going on a real date!  We were just friends, and I knew we would just have fun and laugh all night.  Well, that jerk never showed up.  Never called!  I cried in my room for the rest of the night. 

I don't want to relive this event all over... I haven't dated in years (even when I was married, we never went out) so I am totally excited (and super nervous) for the day that I can date again, and don't want to end up crying all night because I didn't go on a date, even if it is just a friend.   And I know myself way to well.  So I feel like I need several backup men in line... just in case BR turns out to be just like that other guy who shall remain nameless, since I know a lot of you who read this blog know who he is.

So , this Friday night, I shall head back over the online dating scene, to see who else is online and not on a date , on a weekend night.

Time to shop!

The *Josh story

I am still waiting to find out more about the house and divorce.... Did I mention, I hate not knowing what's going on, anyway, since there is nothing I can do (well, maybe I should be packing, but...nah), I distract myself with.... boys.  OH WAIT... I am not 16 anymore, I guess they are called men now.  But I am being reminded quickly that they still act like boys.  (I know you are all saying, AMEN, to that!)

Like I said before... I jump around....
The second time I heard from *Josh, (hot, hard body in Utah, with no brains), it was about 11:00 pm, a few nights after the first time we text.  It went like this...
*J- I'm on my way home

I looked at my phone.... totally confused.... did he have any clue who he was texting?  I think I remember throwing my arms up in the air and saying out loud,,"What the hell."  I stared at my phone, how was I suppose to respond to that?

ME- From where?
*J- Gym
ME- Of course
*J -lol
And then that was it.  Is anyone else as confused as I am about this.  Maybe he thought he was texting someone else, was my thought, but I actually do believe that this guy is just an idiot, (with a hot body).  The reason, I think this... every 3rd night or so, for about a month, *Josh pops up on my phone.  And we text for about 2 minutes and then he's gone.  I told some people about him, they suggested blocking him, but he hasn't done anything wrong and here's the thing...  once I put my kids to bed at night, I am bored out of my mind!  I have to stay with my kids , so I can't leave, all my friends are married and have their own families to take care of.  So , YES, I know it is sad and pathetic, but for now, texting and e-mailing is kind of my only night time social life. 

Then there was this one on a Sunday afternoon-
*J- Sup
Me- not much, I'm camping
*J- That's cool
And... that's all folks.  But by then, I already had somebody that I actually enjoyed texting, (I just smiled thinking about him, hehe).  So I thought, he probably won't text anymore... but 3 nights later... as if on schedule-

*J-Sup
ME- You keep coming back, I still don't have any topless pics for you.
*J- I never asked you for a topless pic, I am beginning to think you are retarded
ME- WOW!

I knew for sure that this was the last time I would hear from him.... but NO!  3 nights later-
*J-Hi
ME- I thought you thought I was retarded.
*J- lol

And then, yes, that was the last time.... well not really.  I was bored the other night (about 2 or 3 weeks later), so I thought, what the heck... I wonder what would happen, let's see...
ME- I haven't heard from you in a while.  I'm not really retarded, just messing with ya.
2 hours later
*J- lol

Ya know just for the sake of some good blogging, I just might text him again... it's only 11:00pm.  I have to think of something good.  I think his head might pop off if I try the 'duck' comment.  I'll let you know.

Stay tuned.... more info to follow.... i guess

Just got a certified letter telling me to vacate immediately.   This really isn't going how I planned. 
Waiting to hear back from my attorney, so of course... I just thought I would blog...  should I start packing more stuff.... bahahahahaha, so I can take it where?

My Face Hurts

Let me just say... I love all the support I am receiving.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Just so you know though, I don't want anyone to feel bad for me.  I am fine!  I am in a good place now and have moved on.  Unfortunately, I will always have to deal with Knucklehead.  I use laughter to get through my trials.  I poke fun at myself.  For example, last night, I cried so hard, that my face hurt.  I couldn't go to sleep because my face hurt.... how stupid is that?  But I find that totally funny.  I broke down for a brief little bit, expressed my concerns to Heavenly Father, and then I wanted to go to sleep.... but I just couldn't, because my face hurt so stinking bad!  I am laughing right now as I think about it.

I promise this will not turn into a bitter, angry divorced mom blog.... that is not what I would want to read, or would I expect anyone else to want to read it.  So my goal over the next few days, is to find more "funny".  Even if it comes at the expense of me looking ridiculous.  And one more thing... it is OK to laugh at me.  My friend, Jen, does all the time.  I go to her when I need to vent, and she just sits there, listens and laughs at me.  And guess what, that makes me feel better.  So feel free to do the same.

Ironic

Warning-  The last word in this blog is a swear word.

So, this entry promises to be less upbeat, a little sad and maybe even ironic.

Today, May 2, should have been my 13 year wedding anniversary, well, actually, since my divorce isn't final, I guess it still is.  But, I will only ever say that I was married for 12 years.  Anyway... today started out great.  I had tons of energy, so I cleaned (yes, today was a 2 Healthytrim day,) and danced the whole time I was cleaning.   Even the part where I found out that my 3 year old let in the neighbors while I was in the shower, with the bedroom door open part, was funny to me today.  I got my new shooting shirt in the mail today, WAHOOOO! 

I never killed anyone that didn't need killing - Porter Rockwell

After I tried my new shirt on, I went on-line to check (for the 20th time today) to see if my house had sold at auction.... and it had.  I knew this day was coming... but since it kept getting bumped up every month, I was hoping it would get bumped up a few more.  I had been telling myself, that there was no way our house would sell on what was suppose to be our anniversary.    20 minutes after I found that out, there was a knock at the door.  OH CRAP, already?  YEP.  Some guy was standing at the door, I opened it, and he handed me a business card.  He told me what I already knew and asked me what my plan was.  I said, "What are my options?"  He just stared at me.  Told me to think about what I wanted to do and call him tomorrow.  I asked him if the company offered cash for keys, and he said no.  He told me that they had an eviction attorney, and as soon as that was started, I would have 2 to 3 weeks to get out.  I think he was bluffing, but I am still freaking out!
So, that's my drama for now.  Knucklehead doesn't seem to be very worried.  He has his living situation all figured out.  I wasn't going to use this blog to complain about him, but I just have to share this.  His solution... "can't you ask your grandma to buy a house and rent it to you?  That would be ideal."   I will spare you the foul language that is running thru my head right now.  I'm sure you can imagine.

I'm so excited, my shooting shirt came today.  Time to put it on and shoot some shit!

What's the difference between a duck?

***WARNING***, I blog/e-mail/write, just like I talk. So let me warn you, I don't tell stories in order, I have a tendency to jump around ... A LOT!  (haha, you probably thought the warning was for something like swearing or adult content, who knows, maybe it will, haven't thought that far ahead yet.)

On ldslinkup.com, you can only post 3 pictures of yourself, unless you want to pay money and get the "Gold" package.  At least, I think that is what it was called.  Frankly, I think it would be stupid to pay money to show pictures of myself to people... if I really want them to see more of me, I could just "friend" them on Facebook, for free.  Believe it or not, there really are people who pay for this extra feature... LAME-O!

I had to think how I wanted to represent myself, with only 3 photos.  To show a little cleavage or not to show a little cleavage, that is the question.  Come on, anyone who knows me, knows that I have big boobs, unless I dress like the Amish, eventually if you hang around me long enough, your gonna see some. 
So here is the 3 I went with, at the time, it was the best that I had.

This wasn't the actual one, but it was similar to it.

innocent enough, right?

Just a hint of cleavage

I'm not going to lie, when I went shooting that day with my brother and brother-ish (another funny story I might share with ya'll someday.), I tried on several outfits, knowing that I wanted pictures of me shooting a gun and looking hot.  I am on a mission to find me a MAN, and I think that a real man would think that a cute girl holding a AR15 is hot.  Well, I think it is.  There was even a moment when I was wishing that I was wearing all black so I could pretend I was Angelina Jolie. Next time! 

In my description of myself, I did describe myself as a "cute dork", amongst other things.   The first guy that responded was *Josh, (refer to last entry).  And he just sent a message that said, "What's up dork?"  Well, that was fine with me, because it meant that he took the time to read what I had wrote and not just judged me by my pictures.
A few more guys responded, and they all had questions about the gun...(or was it my guns, can't remember), but one stood out more then some others.  Let's call him... *Nate. (Mostly, I am gonna call him that, because I did accidentally get his name wrong at one time, and called him that.  To which he said "You can call me Nate if you want to.")  I went and checked out his profile, kind of brief, not much to go on, except, he listed a lot of music he liked, NONE of which I have ever heard of before.  We started e-mailing back and forth for a couple of days.  We talked a lot about music, he would tell me about stuff he liked, and have me go online and check it out.

Then after a few more days, I got a message from another guy who peaked my interest, let's call him... *Brian...  We e-mailed back and forth that night, and then he asked if I text.   I laughed to myself, what the heck, here we go again.

Now let me me clear, *Josh never asked for a topless photo, I just like to give him a hard time and tell him that he did.  He is not very good at conversation, and he doesn't get any of my jokes.  For example, before I knew his name was *Josh, we had this conversation.
Me: What's your name?
*J: Harry
Me: You don't look like a Harry, you look like you wax. (Profile pic on his wall was also shirtless)
*J:  Huh?
Me: Harry, hairy, never mind
*J: oh, lol

That was suppose to be funny, or at least, I thought it was, but when you have to explain it, well then it just makes me look dumb.  Frankly, I think he works out so much that he sweated out all his brains.

Back to *Brian, well I had to take my daughters to school the next morning.  Between the time I drop off the older 2 and take the youngest to preschool, there is an hour.  As I was just waiting around, I hear a "ping" on my phone.  I started to get excited, who could it be?  It's Brain!  Just wanted to know what I was doing.  I told him.  We chatted (text) for a bit.  Then I realized, that I didn't want to deal with somebody who couldn't handle my dumb jokes.  So I asked him, "What's the difference between a duck?"  Of course, he said, "between a duck and what?"  I told him to think about it, and let me know when he figured it out. 

Yes -- I am aware that makes no sense what so ever. A question like that could either make a guy run for the hills, OR (here's the kicker) it could make him think about me all day long trying to figure it out.  And what do you think happened?  Well, later that afternoon, my phone rings.  I look, it's BR!!!!!!!!!!  I go into panic mode.  "He can't call me yet!"  "Why is he calling?"  "Should I answer the phone?"  "CRAP!  What do I do?" 
Me: Hello?
Brian: Ok, I'm going crazy, I don't get it, what's the answer?
I don't remember what I told him, it was a really quick conversation, he had to get back to work... But it worked!  My stupid idea worked!

The thing is, I really am a DORK!  I see no need to try to charm guys and then surprise them with all the dorkiness that is me later.  I am just going to bring what I have to offer to the table in the beginning, and if they don't like it, it's better they found out now instead of later!