That was then.
I got married less than 2 years after I graduated high school. In that in between time, I only had relationships with 3 guys.
The first one was Mike.
He would totally make me laugh at church dances, with his moves. I thought he was joking around, and then I found out he was serious about his moves. He really thought he was a good dancer, but honestly if I tried to describe his moves, well these guys come to mind.
We didn't date very long at all, probably, like my previous relationships,
only about 2 months or so.
Second was Brian. I thought he was "the one". We never discussed it,
but, I just KNEW we were going to get married. I started dating him
pretty soon after he returned from his mission. We dated on and off for about 4 months. Well, I was always "on", it was him who couldn't make up his mind. But I was patient and waited. Like I said, I just knew we would end up together. Then, he got accepted to BYU. So, in my mind, I was going to move up to Utah, move in with some family, so we could be together while he went to school. He had different plans, cause he broke up with me months before he was even suppose to leave, I was devastated. I thought my world was going to end.
4 days later, the man that I ended up with for the next 13/14 years, asked me out for our first date.
Fast forward to now...
Since my divorce, I have had
-1 NCMO ( Non Committal Make Out)
-2 First Dates Only
and
-1 Boyfriend of 3 months
A bunch of my friends referred to my boyfriend as, The Chad. I think it was my friend, Sarah, who started it, and it caught on. Even my kids started calling him that. My phone would ring, (poor guy, I set his ring tone to Sexy And I Know It, by LMFAO) and my kids would yell "It's The Chad!" and start giggling like crazy.
I met him online, we emailed for about a week, and then one night he mentioned that he would like to take me out sometime. I gave him my number and then we started talking on the phone. We talked for about a week before we went on our first date, (which is a whole other story or blog entry in it's self.) We both had a mind set, that we just wanted to meet someone to date, and have fun with, NOT to have an actual relationship. But, it didn't happen that way. In the beginning, I had opportunities to date other people, but I only wanted to spend time with him. We lived over an hour away from each other, and gas is stinking expensive, but to spend time with him, was well worth the sacrifice.
I loved spending time with him. I loved spending time with his kids. I loved when we would get together with all 7 of our kids. We would have so much fun, all 9 of us. I never knew that I wanted a big family... but those were some of my favorite moments with him...bobbing for apples, watching the kids play at the park, going out to eat and getting tons of nosey people staring at us and asking random dumb questions, and playing keep-away in the front yard.
And I loved kissing him. Let me take a second to daydream about that .... ... ... ...... and I'm back. Even 3 months in, one of the last times I kissed him, my heart started racing and I got butterflies in my stomach. I loved to just melt in his arms and have him hold me.
So you are probably wanting to know why it ended, with so much that was right, what went wrong. Well, here's where dating (grown up dating) gets complicated, when it boiled down to it, we just had different goals. Different directions that we wanted to to take our lives in. Because of those different end goals, I knew that we would probably not end up getting married later on down the line. Unless, that is, if one of us was willing to change, and we are both set in our ways. It is not fair to be in a relationship where someone is hoping the other will change. It was so hard for me to accept this. I fought it for a long time, telling myself that we could make it work. But I had to be honest and realise that our goals were just to different. I have never broken off a relationship with someone that I stilled adored. It broke my heart. But I knew that I would only get more attached if I didn't.
It's only been a few days, since I broke it off. And yes, I am sad, but I have been through much worse heartache over the past 2 years. I will be fine and move on. And I promise to continue to share my experiences along the way.
 |
| The Chad and Me |
