On Again... Off Again

I'm sure this comes as no shocker to some of you.... I quit ldslinkup... AGAIN.  There were a few reasons this time. 
-First of all, I totally thought I was getting punked.  I wont tell you all the boring details, but that 26 year old, the one with the "sexy hips" comment, well, I totally thought that somebody made up a profile and was just messing with me.  Which wouldn't surprise me.... I have given out way to many details.  MY BAD!
-Second, the stupid site wouldn't log me out. When I got up this morning, I had an e-mail from a friend who is on the site, that was sent to me in the middle of the night that said... "Go to bed."  Great... now I look like the loser chick who does nothing all day and night, but stalks men on line...... (Keep your comments to yourself!)
-Third, I got tired of men from Nigeria sending me messages.  Everyone of them was the same, "Hi, how are you?"  HELLO!  You are all the way in Nigeria.... I am not looking for a pen pal to teach English to.... I want to date!

So, I deleted the account....(you know I wont stay away for long) but I did end up talking to the guy I thought was punking me.....  and after all the fuss, I actually think he is legit.  He started texting me this afternoon.  I was really hesitant to respond, but, I figured that maybe I could figure out who was screwing with me.   After a bit, he stopped texting, and just called.  I had my whole "freak out moment", but finally answered the phone.
So, we talked.    From what I can tell, this guy actually likes dating older women.  Hmmm, just as I thought...cougar trend.  I do still have my guard up with him.... it could be possible he is looking for a sugar mama... which would mean.... he won't be around for long.    But if anything exciting happens, ya know I will update.  Oh yeah, he will be known from this point on as, Austin.

There was one guy that I made sent one last e-mail to.... That was Ron, (mustache guy).  I sent him a short message telling him that I was deleting my account and if he wanted to meet... this was how he could get a hold of me.  Cross your fingers....cuz, I am.

And my last bit of information I have to share... I finally have the date my divorce will be final.  And it is in about 25 days.  Time to find a real date!

Cover Me In Mustard And Call Me Restless

While I was at church today, I was a little restless.  Usually, I am totally against checking my e-mail or texting while there, but today, I just couldn't help it.  I was waiting for Ron (mustache guy) to e-mail me back. 

See, there have been several guys who talked about meeting me in person, and then when it comes down to making plans to do so, they back out.  So, when Ron said he thought we should meet, I decided to call him out on it.  Right before I got ready for church, I sent him an e-mail and asked him when he wanted to meet.  So of course, I'm trying to concentrait, but just couldn't.
Finally, during Relief Society (the 3rd hour of church, for all my non LDS readers,) I just couldn't wait anymore.  I cleaned off my fingers ,( I had been sneaking peanut butter cups out of my friends purse), and whipped out my phone.  I had to hide my excitement when I saw the red letters reading, new mail.
Normally, I would do a little high pitched scream, or a mini happy dance... but that probably wouldn't go over as well there.  Even though we were discussing devoloping our talents, I could have just claimed that I was so happy to be talking about this topic... but nah.

I opened the mail , and it read, "This week I don't work Tuesday or Wednesday, same thing next week."   And then something happened to me... I started to freak out.  It's to soon!  Why does he want to meet me this soon?  - Wait, I know why he wants to meet me this soon,  I am cute and from what he knows, I am super funny, and also.... I refuse to eat asian food without chopsticks.  So with details like that...(chopstick user being that thing that totally hooked him, right?), of course he wants to meet me.

When I got home, I responded and told him that while I was totally thinking that I wanted to meet him, but I just didn't know enough about him.  Like... how does he feel about Halloween.  That's the important stuff.

When he responded, he told me he really didn't like it.  My heart sank, but, I guess that's not a deal breaker after all, because I just figured I could just convert him.  I told him all about the pumpkin bread ( with lots of nuts) I bake. Pumpkin pancakes with cranberry maple butter that I make on General Conference weekend and of course the jell-o brains that I always serve on Halloween.  I mean, if that doesn't convince a man to like Halloween time ( a hot woman, happily baking in the kitchen was the image I was going for,) then I don't know what would.  And I was good!  I really wanted to mention the slutty Halloween costume that I plan to wear this year to the church Halloween party, but I was good and didn't! Aren't you proud?  Well, I am!

The other information I learned about him was, he likes cheap mustard. 
Back in high school, one of my closest friends loved me because I liked mustard, and I loved her because she liked onions.
                                      (Here's my shout out to Veva!)
So, I guess we could have a lifetime of happy bliss.... covered in mustard.

Here are a few more details that I know about him
He is a pilot for a major airline
He can't use chopsticks
He doesn't know the words to The Humpty Dance
He is 37
and he just posted a picture without his crazy mustache and he is, as I suspected, totally cute.

I am going to let you guys help me with this one...
There will be a survey to the right of the blog.  Please take a quick second to lock in your answer.

Keepers and Creepers

This third time on ldslinkup.com, is turning out to be entertaining then I could have ever hoped for!  Like I said before, I have met a few keepers (so far) but there are definitely a lot more creepers!  (Haha, that's funny how I made that rhyme!)

I have had a lot of "old" men, try to flirt with me.  You probably wonder what I consider old... well so do I.  I guess it changes by their level of hotness.
For example, you remember Campbell, (oh yeah, still have to update you on him,) well he was 43, and super hot, so that equals.... not old.
Now there is another guy, not sure of his real age, but he has gray hair and looks creepy, so he equals....too old!

Well, this time around, I seem to have a lot of younger guys hitting on me.  And I'm not gonna lie, it is totally flattering.  But, let me remind you, I am 33.  So when a 26 year old sends me an e-mail saying,  "You have sexy hips".... I am just not sure what to do with that piece of information.   The only reason I can think he would want to get to know me, is the whole "cougar" trend that is going on right now.  I know I am hot enough to be a cougar ( after 3 hours of make-up and lots of duct tape, that is), but I have 3 kids... I don't need a 4th.  Even though.... he would be more fun to spank.... ooops did I type that?  My bad!  So right now, there is actually 4 or 5 guys, ages 25 - 28 that I am e-mailing.  Oh yeah, and Nate, he is 29.  And the guy I have a date with in 2 months he's 30.  ***  WOW ***  I just read that back to myself.... that's awesome!

I did meet someone on line the other did that is really making me laugh (that's one of my favorite things, ya know).  Let's call him ..... Ron.  As in Ron Swanson, from Parks and Rec. 

No, this is NOT him!  This is Ron Swanson.  But the guy I met on linkup, well  he has a handlebar mustache.

Like this guy...

And , NO, this is not him either.............

But he does live within an hours driving distance and he claims that he did just shave it off, but I don't think that I would mind if he didn't.  Wait.... YES I WOULD.  But, it is what made me notice him.

So, I guess that's all to report for now... gonna check my linkup e-mail one more time and then head to bed.

One Last Hot Daddy Entry

Yesterday was my daughter's kindergarten graduation...... and yes, Hot Daddy was there.

I posted on my Facebook status that I was wanted to talk to him, but was probably going to chicken out.  My friends began to leave comments.  Everyone encouraging me to go talk to him.

There was moments when I actually considered it.  Like when he first got there and we BOTH did double takes at one another, a moment when we passed one another in the aisle... each acknowledging each other with a half smile and a nod.... another when I was in line behind him to pick up my kiddo, and several times when I could see him out of the corner of my eye, looking my way.  But when it came down to it... it would just be weird.
My friends said "Just introduce yourself to him!"
But the thing is.... that wouldn't work.... I mean, what would I say...
"Hi, I'm J's mom.  Remember me?  We use to be friendly, you use to open the door for me, you use to walk across the street with me to get our kids.  But then you stopped and started parking somewhere else.  Do you want to meet for lunch sometime?  Oh yeah, what is your name so I can stop calling you Hot Daddy?  And one more thing, I write a blog, and I happened to mention you in it.... can I take your picture so all my readers can see you?"

I just don't think that would go over very well.

I am going to use this as a learning experience. 
This is what I learned:
-Even though I have 3 kids, I am cute, men will notice me.
-Smiling at a man, is a great way to let him know I am interested.
-Do NOT tell 5 year old that I think someone's dad is hot .... UNLESS, I honestly want her to pass along the information.
-Do NOT let my friends encourage me to take pictures of men, without thier knowledge.  Those same friends, will then turn it around and accuse me of stalking.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  That will not happen again!

What I gained the most from this experience was boost in my self-esteem.  When my ex left me, I felt like my self worth was at a -10.  Hot Daddy  was the first man, that I am aware of, that noticed me, and made sure that I noticed him.  And for that, I will be forever grateful, but now it is time to move on.

Here I go again....

The weekend is over, I didn't have anything funny to blog about.  So guess what I went and did..... for the third time, I joined LDSlinkup.com! Again!  What the heck is wrong with me?  Well, I could tell you what's wrong with me, but I think you are all starting to figure it out for yourselves.

But here's the thing, not all the guys I have met on there are jerks.  There are a few good ones.... one of them even admits to reading my blog.  Haha, this can be good, and bad.  I told him that since he reads it, I will not mention him.... until we go on a date.  And yes, I do have a date scheduled with him.... IN ABOUT 2 MONTHS!  So in a little over 2 months, I will give details of my date with him... GOOD OR BAD!  He knows this, so if he is smart, he will make it a REALLY good date.

Now, I know that while you are all (or at least you all should be) cheering for me to find Mr. Right, you are also looking for a good laugh at my expense. I have learned some lessons along the way, and I am getting better at spotting the red flags, but just as in life, there are sure to be a few who sneak their way past round 1and maybe even round 2, before they show their true colors.  But you better believe, that when they do, I will be back to blog about it!

So now, I just have to wait, up to 72 hours, for some random person to approve my pictures.  Tick tock, tick tock.