What's the difference between a duck?

***WARNING***, I blog/e-mail/write, just like I talk. So let me warn you, I don't tell stories in order, I have a tendency to jump around ... A LOT!  (haha, you probably thought the warning was for something like swearing or adult content, who knows, maybe it will, haven't thought that far ahead yet.)

On ldslinkup.com, you can only post 3 pictures of yourself, unless you want to pay money and get the "Gold" package.  At least, I think that is what it was called.  Frankly, I think it would be stupid to pay money to show pictures of myself to people... if I really want them to see more of me, I could just "friend" them on Facebook, for free.  Believe it or not, there really are people who pay for this extra feature... LAME-O!

I had to think how I wanted to represent myself, with only 3 photos.  To show a little cleavage or not to show a little cleavage, that is the question.  Come on, anyone who knows me, knows that I have big boobs, unless I dress like the Amish, eventually if you hang around me long enough, your gonna see some. 
So here is the 3 I went with, at the time, it was the best that I had.

This wasn't the actual one, but it was similar to it.

innocent enough, right?

Just a hint of cleavage

I'm not going to lie, when I went shooting that day with my brother and brother-ish (another funny story I might share with ya'll someday.), I tried on several outfits, knowing that I wanted pictures of me shooting a gun and looking hot.  I am on a mission to find me a MAN, and I think that a real man would think that a cute girl holding a AR15 is hot.  Well, I think it is.  There was even a moment when I was wishing that I was wearing all black so I could pretend I was Angelina Jolie. Next time! 

In my description of myself, I did describe myself as a "cute dork", amongst other things.   The first guy that responded was *Josh, (refer to last entry).  And he just sent a message that said, "What's up dork?"  Well, that was fine with me, because it meant that he took the time to read what I had wrote and not just judged me by my pictures.
A few more guys responded, and they all had questions about the gun...(or was it my guns, can't remember), but one stood out more then some others.  Let's call him... *Nate. (Mostly, I am gonna call him that, because I did accidentally get his name wrong at one time, and called him that.  To which he said "You can call me Nate if you want to.")  I went and checked out his profile, kind of brief, not much to go on, except, he listed a lot of music he liked, NONE of which I have ever heard of before.  We started e-mailing back and forth for a couple of days.  We talked a lot about music, he would tell me about stuff he liked, and have me go online and check it out.

Then after a few more days, I got a message from another guy who peaked my interest, let's call him... *Brian...  We e-mailed back and forth that night, and then he asked if I text.   I laughed to myself, what the heck, here we go again.

Now let me me clear, *Josh never asked for a topless photo, I just like to give him a hard time and tell him that he did.  He is not very good at conversation, and he doesn't get any of my jokes.  For example, before I knew his name was *Josh, we had this conversation.
Me: What's your name?
*J: Harry
Me: You don't look like a Harry, you look like you wax. (Profile pic on his wall was also shirtless)
*J:  Huh?
Me: Harry, hairy, never mind
*J: oh, lol

That was suppose to be funny, or at least, I thought it was, but when you have to explain it, well then it just makes me look dumb.  Frankly, I think he works out so much that he sweated out all his brains.

Back to *Brian, well I had to take my daughters to school the next morning.  Between the time I drop off the older 2 and take the youngest to preschool, there is an hour.  As I was just waiting around, I hear a "ping" on my phone.  I started to get excited, who could it be?  It's Brain!  Just wanted to know what I was doing.  I told him.  We chatted (text) for a bit.  Then I realized, that I didn't want to deal with somebody who couldn't handle my dumb jokes.  So I asked him, "What's the difference between a duck?"  Of course, he said, "between a duck and what?"  I told him to think about it, and let me know when he figured it out. 

Yes -- I am aware that makes no sense what so ever. A question like that could either make a guy run for the hills, OR (here's the kicker) it could make him think about me all day long trying to figure it out.  And what do you think happened?  Well, later that afternoon, my phone rings.  I look, it's BR!!!!!!!!!!  I go into panic mode.  "He can't call me yet!"  "Why is he calling?"  "Should I answer the phone?"  "CRAP!  What do I do?" 
Me: Hello?
Brian: Ok, I'm going crazy, I don't get it, what's the answer?
I don't remember what I told him, it was a really quick conversation, he had to get back to work... But it worked!  My stupid idea worked!

The thing is, I really am a DORK!  I see no need to try to charm guys and then surprise them with all the dorkiness that is me later.  I am just going to bring what I have to offer to the table in the beginning, and if they don't like it, it's better they found out now instead of later!